I’m convinced that people come into our lives, but they never fully leave even when they physically do.
I’m talking about friendships, relationships, and everything alike. They come in and begin to take up capacities in our hearts that are capable of staying far beyond our stated expiration date that we have created for them. And that’s a scary thought when that pain is all you can feel.
It’s that same pain that causes us to panic. To try to find solutions to ease our minds and our hearts. We hope and pray to soon rest easy as we look for tell tale reassurance that better days are ahead. And with time it will all be better if we just begin to let go and move on.
I used to read articles on all of these subjects letting go..forgiving.. forgetting..moving on.. cutting the cord.. you get it! And just those topics with a dose of anything else that implies that in a few quick steps the heavy pain that you are feeling in your heart can disappear, at least a little faster than it feels it is right now. But now I’m convinced that forgetting, and letting go is not the answer for me personally.
Bottom line is I have read every how-to article under the sun and moon that I could get my hands on. I could have given Andie Anderson- Composure Magazine’s How-to girl content for on this subject for lifetimes. (P.S. from one of my favorite movies How to Lose a Guy In 10 days, please refer)
BUT what if we didn’t allow it to upset us that we feel the pain we are feeling? What if we didn’t entertain thoughts of wasted time, and needing to have a solution.
What if we acknowledged that person for being exactly what we needed at a certain point of time. For what they mirrored back to us and how they helped us come to life. I really believe it shouldn't be classified as a weakness to keep our hearts open. I feel that there is more strength out there beyond the black and white. It should be up to you to classify and define what that looks like vs. what you think you need to do.
I believe that we can still find it in our hearts to hold love for someone and honor our memories with them regardless of our decision to bring them to this next chapter of our life. I think in one way or another this person will always be special to us, that they will always hold a spot in our hearts for who and what they were to us. And maybe, there isn’t anyone out there who is meant to take their place.
It’s too much unsaid pressure to put on someone else who has potential to coming in next. It’s unnecessary disappointment that we create when there doesn’t have to be any in the first place. I’m not speaking for everyone, but I’m personally convinced that trying to “forget” someone is a waste of my time. I now just choose to love them anyways and have found that has brought a greater peace to my heart deeper than I’ve ever known.
I believe we heal as others slowly begin to take a different capacity and love us even better. When they love us the way we deserve to be loved. In a way that leaves us no choice but to love ourselves like that too. And it’s not that they completely erase all that we knew before, But they do bring in another kind of magic. They heal us. They restore our faith and they bring us back to life. That way our heart feels broken open vs. broken down.
The darkness that we once felt begins to feel light again.