Self-Comparison
Going through different phases in life can be tiring and truly exhausting.
I get it.
Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar: You have a quarter life crisis one day, decide you don't care at all the next, to finally finding that happy medium. There's moments where you don't even trust yourself to make a decision. There's moments where you probably shouldn't. Your mind jumps at around at a rate that simultaneously fascinates and confuses you. You want to smack yourself upside the head. "Why can't I focus?" You snarkily retort to yourself. You begin to think of the times where your focus was SO much better. You start to wonder what has happened to that focus, what has happened to you? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.
Anger, frustration, and guilt begin to fill you until you finally stop yourself.
And let's stop right there, End "Hypothetical" Scenario:
And what happens if we don't stop ourselves? Maybe that's not you entirely, but it is that easy to get our minds wrapped up in a story, and the one I want to talk about today is self-comparison. This one is sneaky, because there are times that we don't even realize we are doing it. There have been times where I have compared myself to a happier version, a younger version, or a more productive version of myself. The thought of not being where you want to be can feel hindering on it’s own. It’s easy to get trapped with thoughts about how you are going to make it happen. I’ve been there.
So just like we abruptly ended that scenario, we are going to talk about some tools to use in order to abruptly end the self-comparison cycle. And if you feel that you aren’t where you should be, I want to assure you that the unsettledness you are feeling is a good thing, and can be used to your advantage. We just have to make sure that the reflections and conclusions that are being made are only in an effort to help you grow vs. cause any sort of hindrance.
There’s a few things I want you to start with:
Momentum/ Movement Even if it’s the smallest thing, I want you to get writing, get walking, talking and make a plan. This is where you build the momentum that is going to carry you. Here's some questions to get you started.
- Where are you hesitating right now?
- What are you talking yourself out of?
- What could you change about your situation today that is within your control?
- What would it take to make those changes?
Get excited that you made this realization. If you need to as well, get a little angry. It is going to be the emotion that gets you started with a plan. Decide that something needs to change, and commit yourself to that.
After the initial realization, you have an option to take it a step further.
What are the things you talk yourself out of? This step requires honesty.
Do you tend to overthink and rely on the opinions of others before you make a decision? Do you talk yourself out of things, or wear yourself down by putting it off? This isn't the place to sugar coat.
And lastly, What are you going to implement in place to ensure you don’t let those things happen.
Are you going to hold yourself accountable? Do you need a little push to get that started? These are all questions that need to be adressed when making a change. The last thing you want to do is create the momentum only to seize it to a screeching halt the very next. The momentum is going to be your best friend in this situation. It's there to help you, so once you do the work and create the fuel for yourself, work with it. Get coffee with it. Insert your activity of choice here _________
In short, don’t let Self comparison cycle kill your motivation. Use the unsettledness as your momentum. And lastly, Get pissed off, excited and get moving.
If you want a little push, I was offering 20 minute single topic strategy sessions as a form of cyber Monday. I have decided to extend that offer. It is a chance to focus on one particular subject, get clear and maximized results with the time and see if coaching with me is the right thing for you.
If you feel like that could benefit you, don't hesitate to reach out.
Until Next time,
Natasha